Everyday Ignorance

greenchestnuts:

itsjustbaylie:

Because i have issues with people touching me out of no where
And because I’ve been hinting to her that im asexual. o u o
Mom
No

And I’m still confused because grey-ace or asexual I just don’t know still

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you’re able to convince your mom that you don’t need a sex therapist!

Hey, if you’re in a situation where your life is controlled by a parent and you don’t have much agency in what you’re required to do, you can still do a few things to take control of the situation.

#1: Not all therapists accept the validity of asexuality, which is terrible, but most of them ARE trained to listen, and especially considering there has been authentic research on asexuality by known sex researchers, you might consider taking some ace materials with you if you end up having to go.  Mention Anthony Bogaert’s research.  Bring an article by Lori Brotto.  If you’re pushed into going to a therapist, it’s possible you can turn that therapist into an ally.  (I still hope you won’t have to go, though.)

#2: In my videos Letters to an Asexual #9 Part 1 and Part 2, I respond to an asexual person’s request to provide talking points and perspectives on dealing with family and loved ones who are dead set on attacking you or arguing with you about asexuality.  I don’t know if they will be useful to you, but maybe.

#3: I wrote an article called How to Be an Asexual Ally, published in Good Vibrations magazine.  Sometimes you can show resources like this to people in your life and give them some perspective on how they should be treating this subject—and treating you.  Even if you can’t/don’t pass it on, though, it could give you a perspective on what kind of respect you should be able to expect from reasonable people, and what sorts of comments/questions/attitudes you shouldn’t be expected to tolerate.

Hope this helps.

(Source: hexiium)